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Nikki L. Family Member

Stress and suicidal ideation...support?

Mon, 07/22/2013 - 1:46AM

Hello all. I have a family member who received his VAD mid-2011. It has been quite the journey since day 1. As of today, the pump has been replaced 3 times - twice due to a clot. He has been hospitalized for months at a time either due to infection or a low INR. He's lost hope. He doesn't find any joy in life anymore and contemplates cutting the driveline or unplugging his controller daily. He wakes up every day expecting to go to the hospital because he's either not feeling well, has taken a spill and bumped his head, or most recently has been on the brink of suicide for the second time (meaning he was standing in his room with the cords in his hand ready to disconnect them). We are in contact with an VAD coordinator at the placement hospital trying to find a program that he can attend. He is 40 years old with a 7 year old daughter who ADORES him. I am trying to find anyone with similar circumstances - a VAD recipient who is undergoing psychological issues or anyone else with resource suggestions. I am beyond frustrated for him and would love more than anything to show him how beautiful the world truly is. While I know many of you are bridge, he is therapeutic until he is 5 years cancer-free (another hurdle for him). Any guidance or suggestions would be MORE than appreciated. Thanks to all. <3

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sheila k.

Mon, 07/22/2013 - 10:12PM

Dear LVDinPHX.....I read this and felt so sad, and I really do not know how to respond. But unless you have truly lived with an lvad, you cannot possible know what your family member is experiencing.......I see how my husband gets depressed and he also has other issues. I advise you to let him talk to someone in the religious field, not knowing his religious belief.

He has every right for how he feels....he has been thru hell. He also needs to talk to other lvad patients if that is possible.....I hope this helps. No it is not easy, and you are right, he has so much to live for, I hope someone reads this and can actually talk with him. prayers are sent your way... they do help. Hope

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Kathleen H.

Wed, 07/24/2013 - 7:24PM

Dear LVDinPHX

I too have read your post and want you to know that I am putting you and your family member in my prayers!, My husband has had his lvad for a little over a year and gets very frustrated that he can;t do a lot of what he used to, 5 weeks ago, he fell and broke his shoulder. Experiencing this, I can only say hang in there and TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF! Take some time for you, whether its just sitting outside for a little bit or taking a walk. See if you can get him out of the house for a change of scenery (like in the yard or porch).I know that is easier said than done. but might help, especially if his daughter is able to be there

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Kenny B.

Wed, 06/04/2014 - 9:12AM

My wife went through virtually the SAME thing. Only had the "pump" replaced once, collapsed lung, punctured spleen from trying to deflate the lung, thyroid cancer, etc etc. She passed on Aug 2 of last year. IT was a VERY long hard road for her, myself, and everyone around her including our daughter who is a complete angel.

I can't offer any suggestions except that if he chooses to cut he drive line, I ask this question: is it really suicide? Every body asks 'who gives us the right to 'pull the plug'.. after seeing what my wife went through, I ask who gives us the right to 'plug it in'> ? I'm not trying to scare you or be negative, but you KNOW virtually what he's going through.. you've witnessed it.. You say life is wonderful.. NOT really with this type of issues with the "Lvad".. I will be praying for you .. The Lord can work miracles.. I KNOW that I KNOW that... and at this point, let HIM be your strength, but should the "worst" happen, please realize that it may actually be for the best. It took me 10 months to realize that my wife TRULY is BETTER off now. She is with our Lord and Savior Christ Jesus and is OUT OF PAIN FINALLY.. NO "doctors" here on earth could grant her what my Lord MERCIFULLY granted her. May the peace of our Lord and Saviour confort you. I KNOW the Comfortor. Met him first hand and he walks with me daily.

God Bless you.