Becoming a caregiver of a parent while having a husband and child
Thu, 03/19/2020 - 12:08PMHello.
I honestly just wanted some advice and knowledge on what to expect if my Mom ends up getting one. They are discussing it during this hospital admission. I have been looking after both of my parents for the past three months as my Mom has been in and out of the hospital and my Dad has alzheimers all while raising my family and working. My job at my local hospital has been great and flexible with me and I now have family medical leave when needed. I realize everybodys recovery time is different but I was just trying to wrap my head around all of it and I want to do what needs to be done. We have a great family support group her sisters come to help a lot, they live two hours away. And my brothers wife flys in and stays for weeks at a time to help as well.
Caregiver
Thu, 04/02/2020 - 4:15PMHello Megan,
You are an unsung hero, thank you for all you do. When I received my LVAD, I had been on a slow, downhill decline for several years before my heart actually failed. Your mother will need help with everything, and will not be able to do much of anything for at least a month. It is open heart surgery, serious stuff. It took me 3 months before I was pain free, and could do everything for myself, cooking, cleaning, shopping, everything. The only 2 things I cannot do is lay on my stomach, and go swimming/take a bath.
A lot of hospitals have different procedures they all believe work best for their patients, but my LVAD hospital (Inova Fairfax) (which rocks!!), recommends dressings be changed every other day. When she is better, she can change her own dressing looking in the mirror...one less thing for you to do. She will not be able to drive for 3 months, and will have appointments weekly, that will expand to quarterly as she heals and improves. She will be put on a blood thinner, if she isn't on one already, which means another potential appointment for INR tests. Different insurance seems to offer different things in INR testing. Based on my experience*, if you can live through doing everything for your mother for 3 months, not to mention your normal duties, your Mom will look and feel healthier, and be happier. I remember how excited I was when I was able to cook my first full dinner, or to drive myself to an appointment. :)
My husband is my hero. He took a plastic, outside chair and put it in the shower so I could sit and he would wash my hair; I could handle the rest, albeit slowly at first. He did all the cooking for both of us, all the cleaning, laundry, keeping track of medicines and appointments. He was awesome, and thank God, was able to give it all up after 3 months.
I hope that helps a little. If you have more specific questions, please ask and I will be happy to respond.
God Bless,
Cindy
*I was 49 years old when my heart failed, with no other known medical conditions. I am almost 60 now.
Thank you so much for the…
Thu, 04/02/2020 - 11:07PMThank you so much for the encouragement. We were told just today that she is not a candidate at the moment as she is to weak. I know God has her and has a plan and we are trusting in him and praying for strength. She is 68, who just recently in four months went from driving across country to nearly bed ridden..she’s had heart failure for 11 years with no flare ups until now.
In reply to Thank you so much for the… by Megan J.
Cindy R.Caregiver
Fri, 04/03/2020 - 7:40AMWow Megan, that is a huge difference for 4 months time! Yes, God has a plan for her, as He also has for me. When my heart failed, they were not sure if I would make it through the night. I was put in a drug induced coma for 5 days, and now I have had 10 years of beautiful life. I will add your mother to my prayer list, that she may be strong enough to receive the LVAD, and get back to driving across our great country again.
Cindy
Thank you so very much 🙏🏻🙏🏻
Fri, 04/03/2020 - 8:17AMThank you so very much 🙏🏻🙏🏻